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How can I trust after divorce?

2022-06-18

How can I trust after divorce?

Marriage, for most people, is the destination they want to arrive at with the partner with whom they have a long-term relationship. But once there, we find ourselves in a situation where not everything goes how we want it to. Difficult times, shared life, and a false sense that your partner is with you forever and will not go anywhere often leads to discord in the relationship. One of the most common problems that arise in marriage is infidelity. It is tricky to trust someone again after they have cheated on you, and the feeling of betrayal can be all-consuming and make it difficult to move on.

Divorce - what is next?

There are some ways to try to trust again after a divorce. It is essential to first understand what led to the cheating. If it was a one-time thing caused by circumstances such as alcohol or drug abuse, then there is a greater chance of being able to forgive and move on. If, however, the cheating was part of a pattern of behavior, it may be more challenging to trust again. In this case, marriage counseling can help address the underlying issues that led to the infidelity.

It is also important to work on rebuilding self-esteem after divorce. When trust has been betrayed, it can be challenging to feel good about oneself. Taking time for yourself, doing things that make you happy, and spending time with supportive people can help to boost your self-confidence.

Finally, it is essential to be honest with yourself about whether or not you genuinely want to trust again. If the thought of your partner might cheating on you is too much to bear, it may be best not to start a new relationship so far. 

Suppose you feel that you can not cope alone and in each attempt to start a new relationship, again and again. In that case, if you do not feel safe and constantly experience fear that the partner is cheating on you, it is better to seek help from professionals:

  • Talk to a therapist: A therapist can help you work through your feelings of betrayal and learn how to trust again.
  • Join a support group: There are often groups available to help people who have been through a divorce. These groups can provide support and advice on how to trust again.

Next chapter

It's difficult to go back into the dating pool after trust has been destroyed. Every individual is viewed through the prism of trust, with queries always being asked that have no business being asked. 

It's difficult to break that mindset, to recognize that not everyone is out to deceive you, hurt you, or cheat on you. There are still good people out there who would never knowingly or unwillingly let you down and deserve your trust.

Rebuilding trust is a struggle, and it demands that you put aside some of your defenses and take a risk, even though every fiber in your body tells you not to. Only trust can set you free from the chains that bind you.

Give a tiny bit of trust. Then, gradually, offer a little more. Open up to someone and don't compare them to the worst you've seen before. Judge them based on their own statements and acts rather than those of others whom they had no control over.

When they prove to you that they are deserving of your trust, offer them a gift of your trust, even if it is bestowed gradually.

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